I blew it!

So, you are waiting for the words of encouragement and Truth to oose from this post and touch a part that is needing to be touched? Me too. I really can't remember all that we talked about this week. I have gotten a good and much needed reprimand from Father this week and well that is where I am. When you are leading a class like this, your faults and selfishness come screaming out of the woodwork and stand face to face with you as you try to walk the same paths you have walked before. Let's look at my week:

Wednesday: Go to class and talk about thankfulness, gratitude, joy, and being, doing those things for our husband.

Thursday: I receive an email in my inbox that says "I have a surprise for you, Fed Ex tomorrow" Here is where I start the slipping and I didn't even realize it at the time, but my response was "is this for everyone or just for me?" The reason I chose this sentence is because I am selfish and my Darling Husband is not great with "surprises" as a matter of fact, he can't surprise me. I have to give him a list of things I would like for birthdays, Christmas, etc. He just doesn't have it in him to make mental notes. This is NOT bashing, it is plain truth. Ask him... I thought the next response was good, "Thank you , I love you" And I truly thought at the time that I was doing good and lifting my husband. Now I know it was the beginning of the evil one's attack on me and him.

Friday: I get home from the being out and see a huge box on my front porch. "Wow, the box is here, I'll just look and see who it's from and I can tell what it is." I thought. I looked and the address label and it was from a repairsomething.com type place. Now my wheels are spinning because maybe he has gotten one over on me... hhmm.

Alas, no, he has not, I realized it was the part for my washing machine that has been leaking for over a year. While I am grateful to have my machine fixed (I had to keep a tray in front of the thing to catch the water that would run out.), I just did not see this as a surprise for me. It was merely a maintenance item for the house. He, on the other hand, saw it as a big thing for me, I would not have to pour out the water every time I washed a load of clothes.

Now here is where I REALLY messed up. We go out to eat with my folks, he is there first and when we got there I say something very dumb like "ha, ha, that is not a surprise for me." [Please learn from this, ladies] He, of course, gets his feelings hurt and gets mad because his wife can't see that he was doing the man thing and fixing a problem in the house. And it was down hill for the entire meal.

I should see that his efforts to fix something are his way of helping/giving to me. I should have 'painted' that smile on and been gracious and happy with my husband's display of duty/love to me.

My challenge this week was to choose to be joyful at those times when we usually choose to scorn and disapprove. Well I have already blown that, but the good news is, just like His mercies are new every morning, I can start anew.

BTW, I did apologize and then I helped him put it on the washing machine yesterday. We have washed 2 loads and there is no water on the floor. Thank you John! I love you.